Just show up
You don't got to be perfect
No matter how much we try to resist it, a new calendar year can feel full of plans and expectations. The plants know to wait another few months before getting busy, but us humans are straight in there.
I’ve been sitting at my desk this week, after the midwinter break, with a mild feeling of overwhelm. There are so many things to complete, improve or get started on, that the only thing I seem to have successfully done is write a lot of to-do lists. Where to start? What’s most important?
I used to think that there was some answer to all of this. That I just needed a better system, or a different schedule, or some other solution.
But, I also know that starting from where we’re at is how we get things done. Imperfectly.
The magic comes from the consistent act of showing up, and letting things unfold.
Just start the first draft. Don’t worry about the finished article.
Just lace up the trainers. Don’t worry about how many miles you run.
Just start the thing. Don’t worry about having every step mapped out in advance.
Expecting ourselves to have the perfect plan before we begin is a little bit like expecting a child to sit neatly at the table before the learning can start. It denies us the full experience and reduces the rich variety of what progress can look like.
The desire to somehow get it ‘right’ from the outset is in danger of stopping us from doing it at all.
A quote from How To Help Non-Speaking Children in the Early Years:
Kids need us to keep showing up even when we feel like we’re not doing a very good job. We can’t control the pace of progress, or the many external factors that impact communication development. We can only control how much time we give something, what we pay attention to, how we respond.
The time that we spend with non-speaking children, attending to their things, viewing the world from their perspective, is time spent showing the child that they belong here; that their perspective and their contribution is valued.
The minutiae of the minutes you give to something is where your life is happening. All of this is in the tiny detail. We think that change happens with big momentous decisions, great actions and shifts in direction. But really, it’s about the everyday tiny choices that direct our course.
…
What would you start today if you didn’t need to have all the steps mapped out first?
What would you show up for imperfectly, if you valued the act of simply having a go?
If you’d like some support in showing up this year, then I’d be happy to help. I’m opening up three more supervision slots for independent speech therapists and booking discovery calls this month. Find out about working together.
Whatever you choose to show up for, be kind to yourself this month. It may be the start of a new calendar year, but we’re still in the depths of winter. You don’t have to get it ‘right’. You can show up just as you are. Or you can stay snuggled down and put it off til the spring, just like the plants. Either way, you got this.
Much love,
Bryony Rust
SaLT by the Sea
PS. The subtitle for this post is a quote from this tune that I love.
